I am one week away from my thesis shoot and it is hard to believe I am almost there. I cannot believe how I already spent two years in the U.S. at Columbia College Chicago.

It’s not only the busiest time of the year—it’s also the busiest time of my life. I have been taking only two classes this semester and one of my mandatory classes was finished in five weeks. So I was taking only one class for the whole semester, Experimental Production II, but I have had the busiest time there. Finally, I am about to shoot my thesis film. Finally, Silver Cord is going to become alive! I am so excited and so nervous about my shoot. We have had different kinds of problems throughout the process, but me and my producer, Urwa Zubair, were able to find different solutions to each of them. Now I am one step away from principal photography.

I want to talk about my feelings more than my film, since I have been talking about it on my previous blogs more than enough. I am writing this blog post while sitting on campus and as I am looking around, there are some familiar faces. Some people are talking about their summer plans, some others are having production meetings. I see some first-year Cinema Directing MFA students too. It’s been so fast. It has already been two years and I just cannot believe I’m at the end of it. I just think of that moment right here, the day before the official last day of school, that moment of getting the e-mail from Columbia College Chicago saying I was accepted into this MFA program. It was such an honor. It was also scary and exciting too! But here I am, writing to you from that school that sent me that letter 2 years ago.

The amount that I learned here is crazy. Last year, I thought it was too much. Just too much in two years! But now, I am proud. I know it may be sad, but it’s not going to be the people that will stay with me—it’s the knowledge that I got from here that is something I can keep and add more to for the rest of my life. Although I enjoyed the learning process, I cannot wait for it to be over so that I can improve myself and continue making films!

Other than the deep thoughts, graduation, and my thesis film, my Turkish friend that I met here got married! It was my first time at an American wedding and I enjoyed it! I wish them a happy marriage.

I was also on one of the TACA events: International Children’s Day! It was a great event that was held in Naperville, IL. I think I needed an escape for a day to somewhere other than Chicago. So, it was quite nice. I was volunteering to take photos of the event, so I was getting photography experience as well.

Lastly, I just want to share my feelings about how this experience went. I have complicated feelings about the whole master’s degree journey. It feels great almost to be done, but since I still haven’t shot my film yet, I cannot live with that feeling. I am tired. Just other times at Columbia, I’m tired— physically and mentally. Despite my personal life, money problems, family situations, classes, assignments, “How are doing on your thesis?”, “Do we have a production designer yet?”, “Suha, we have to finish this today!”, “Suha, do you have any time this week to meet with a potential editor?”, and many more… I’m happy and proud at the same time. I was able to stay alive and finish this program! It’s almost over and my future is still blurry. Wait for my next post for my plans after graduation!