My undergraduate university was a four-hour drive away from my parents home. Well I didn’t really drive down my freshmen year. I wasn’t allowed to take my car yet. My parents thought it would be a distraction. In Macomb I was pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen. You could pretty much walk or take a bus to enough distractions; it’s a pretty small college. It’s hard to believe how much time is passing me by these days. It was seven years ago I was “on my own”. It was the longest time away from my family I’d ever been, and at first that was really hard. No overnight stays with friends could prepare you for it. They would come down on family weekends. I went home for the extended holidays. The overall experience was…well that’s a lot of story and we don’t have time for a novel. Highlights include: I made tons of friends, went to lots of parties, got into a horrible relationship, watched friends drop out, and graduated with a few awards to my name. Woo! Yay graduating class of 2014!
Now what?! Right well now I’m here at Columbia, but that took time to figure out. I wasn’t certain of anything, and I ran through several jobs a year trying to figure it out. My mother, who does my taxes, was not happy about filing five W-2’s. Those years were full of travel though, from Miami to Berlin to Amsterdam! I was learning more about myself than ever.
Seven years. Seven years since I was a freshman in college. I’m on the Amtrak heading west to visit my best friend for her birthday. We met the first day of (undergraduate) school at an event called First Night Fun. The rest is still being created. She is incredible and also in graduate school at our alma mater. Life has its ways of circling, of going back and forth between what you are and what you were. If you’re lucky enough you’ve changed and are able to look back at your past with kindness and say hell yeah that was me! Look at how much I grew!
Sitting in my friend’s office doing homework like old times sent me back to when I was that unfashionable uncomfortable young adult. Who couldn’t figure out what they needed to live in their own skin. This post might seem very reflective, because it is, and I’m in a space where everything is feeling really hard and stressful. I think back to myself in shirts too big and clothes that I now would never wear and nod thanks to her for becoming me today. Let your self become. The pressures of the world feel so great at times, but tomorrow is a great unknown waiting for you to find the answers. They won’t be easy: they will hide, they will be invisible, but with the right instruments you will capture them and become whatever it is you need to be today.