Thesis: What Do YOU Want To Do?

Thesis: What Do YOU Want To Do?

Image via University of Chicago

Easier said than done. (Image via University of Chicago)

With a little less than a month into my final semester, I’ve officially transitioned from graduate student to Master’s candidate.

*shudders in total and paralyzing fear*

Having just been assigned our advisors, now, the real work begins…

When approaching the idea of the thesis, a lot of thoughts start racing through your mind.

What do you want to do? 

Why do you want to do it?

How are you going to do it?

All of those questions, plus getting back into the swing of things after close to four months off and…


Yikes. (Image via GIPHY)

…it’s a recipe for disaster.

Growing up, I pictured myself going undercover and in the trenches, with a handheld camera and a dream, just like my heroes before me.

I remember watching Diane Sawyer go into the Middle East, exploring and navigating her way through uncharted territory, dripping with confidence and resilience.

I dream of doing that same kind of work.

Exploring regions only few have ever seen and talking to people no one has access to.

But, being a female journalist can be tough.

The world, for the most part, still has trouble putting men and women on a level playing field, which, unfortunately, bleeds into the world of journalism.

That glass ceiling is getting more and more cracks in it by the day, but there’s still more busting to do.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for what’s to come.

I’ve always wanted to pursue a passion project, something that I can create from start to finish, without any limitations. The freedom to get to design and investigate something from the ground up, purely vested from my own interest, is the definition of exhilarating for me.

However, with great power comes great responsibility.

That same exorbitant amount of freedom is evenly matched with an almost greater amount of fear.

The fear that my idea isn’t good enough and doesn’t merit the assignment or that it is too ambitious of a project and there is no way it can be completed in enough time.

In my case, that fear can often become crippling.

I tense up, have trouble focusing and start to lose sense of the bigger picture.

I feel you girl

I feel you girl. (Image via GIPHY)

When I get to this stage, I start to question not only my work, but also myself. I doubt any and all choices I make, often trying to take just one step forward but taking ten steps back.

At the end of the day, however, regardless of what I decide to do, it’s just an assignment.

It’s only as big, scary and daunting as I make it.

It won’t injure, wound or kill me.

My hard work will be validated — even if I don’t think it will.

Every anxious moment, every frustrated instance will all be worth it.

So, am I prepared for what to come? Not entirely.

But, am I up for the challenge?

You better believe it.