A perfect example of not stressing about your graduate program over the summer.

Sometimes you just have to “not,” and things fall into place.

I’m Danielle “Deo” Owensby, the new Graduate Ambassador for the Photography MFA Program here at Columbia College Chicago. I’m starting my second year, and man, I learned a bunch my first year—and not all of it was photography related.

My year ended with a final review, and I had the summer to think about my year, my work, and where I wanted to go from there. The summer is a critical time for graduate school: you’re suddenly not in the routine you had for the past ten-or-so months, you don’t have deadlines to meet where you need to have work done, so suddenly you have no structure. For some people, this isn’t a problem. For others, it’s the end of the world and you sit on your couch eating Cheetos watching Jerry Springer and living with a lot of regrets (I did not do this, but I know a guy).

But you know something? That’s fine.

An important thing to remember about Graduate School is taking care of yourself. So, this summer, after I finished my final review, I ran off across the country on a road trip with people I met from the internet when I was 12. As you do. And for two glorious weeks, I didn’t have to think about school, about my work, my thesis, my concepts. I was able to point my camera at whatever I damn well pleased, and it was lovely because sometimes you need to just not. Sometimes you need to re-watch Friends on repeat or go to the beach. Sometimes you have to write awful, self-indulgent prose because you wanna. Sometimes you need to take pictures because you feel like it, without having any explanation.

Sometimes you just gotta run away to the Utah desert and contemplate how tired your brain is.

Sometimes you just have to not overthink it. And summer was a great time for us to do that.

None of my cohort spent their summer locked in their studio, reading a mountain of books, churning out a new body of work. Some of them relaxed and visited with family. Others went back to their home countries. I traveled, watched anime (because I’m a nerd) and practiced languages. We all did a little relevant reading, and we all thought about our work. I know I made some new things, I know some of my friends made some new pictures, but none of us put our nose to the grindstone.

And I know I felt a little guilty about it. But my brain and my body just couldn’t anymore. It was on over-drive for months, and even if I wanted to keep working at that caliber this summer, my body wouldn’t let me. So, if you’re feeling weird or ashamed that your summer wasn’t as productive as you hoped, can you just not? The same thing goes for during the semester: you are going to overwork yourself. You are going to have too many deadlines at once and you are going to worry a hole into your stomach. But you need to not.

This manatee knows whats up.

Have some mindfulness that life happens. Be kind to yourself. Think about someone who you know and love who is struggling, who is tired, and how you would treat them. Now, replace that person with yourself. You wouldn’t make your best friend stay up for a third night in a row to get something “just right.” No, you would send her butt to bed with lots of comfy blankets and make sure coffee was ready for them in the morning. You’d give them a pep talk. You’d say something like, “I know it’s hard right now and it doesn’t feel good, but you have to accept that sometimes life is too much. Sometimes you just have to not.”

So, while we start off this very exciting new school year, remember these things: be kind to yourself, have some compassion, and it’s okay to “just not.”

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