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Winter break was much needed after a stressful semester filled with teaching, taking three classes, and working a handful of jobs. I needed the break, and three days after my last class, I was on a plane to my hometown of Oceanside, about a half hour outside of San Diego. The plane ride there felt like it took forever, because I was so incredibly anxious to see my family. I should have indulged in a few adult beverages to calm my nerves, but because it was an 8am flight, I chose to practice restraint. This resulted in me being bent over in fetal position, resting my head on the snack tray in front of me for about four and a half hours. I’m sure everyone around me was wondering what the heck my problem was. I am a terrible flyer. I always look forward to seeing the San Diego skyline, for the stucco and the first sight of the 15 freeway and once I see the Coranado bridge in the distance, I know the flight will be over and anxiety turns into joy.

The air is different in Southern California. It smells of salt and eucalyptus, and it’s dry. I didn’t realize how much I missed that smell. And the first sight of the ocean, peering through the plane windows always makes me weepy, though, this is something that I am just naturally. Weepy. I am an emotional being and when I first saw the ocean, it made me feel so very homesick.

I recently stopped eating meat (though, in all honesty, sometimes I cheat). My first stop, on the car ride back to my mom’s was for an In N’ Out Burger. My god are they delicious. So dang delicious! So, I sat on the couch watching Maury with my stepdad and ate the burger and the fries and the coke. And I thought to myself, I’ve earned this. This semester was rough. And Maury and a burger were just the way to begin my vacation.

I spent most of my vacation on a couch, either sleeping or drinking wine with my family and watching reality television and movies. I had missed reality television. I had missed my family.

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Most importantly, I really missed my nieces: Mia who is five, and Ava who is two. Mia and Ava are two of the most intelligent children I have ever met, and yes, I know that I am bias, but I think it is true regardless of my bias. Mia says to me, a few days after Christmas, as she is learning how to use her new IPOD touch (She is five and I think this is an extravagant gift, but kids nowadays just have technology in their lives in a way that I never did). So she says to me, “Hantie, wanna’ Gooble earth with me?” And of course, I die. I. die. “Gooble.” Probably the best word ever created and it comes courtesy of my five-year old niece. Mia and Ava also developed what I believe to be next year’s hottest Christmas Jam, performed shirtless and with their plastic guitars and a set of marracas. They sing “Christmas is coming soon. I am not on the naughty list. I am on the nice list.” They are just so dang cute and so smart and I had missed them in infinite amounts. I am often surprised at the ways in which the words that they create or the word games that they play have influenced or crept into my own writing.

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And then there was the beach. The “beach” in Chicago is just not the same. The lake doesn’t have waves and the smell of salt is absent from the air. It just doesn’t feel right. My trip to collect sand and just look at the waves and smell the air was so needed. The beaches in San Diego are so beautiful and relaxing and I had really missed that, being gone so long.

I’m here now. Back in Chicago, and though I enjoyed my time in San Diego, I am glad to be back. I’m happy to be starting my third semester teaching and to get back in to workshop with my peers and hopefully find a groove in my writing this semester, one that can combine my experiences in San Diego and here in Chicago in new and unexpected ways. Here’s hoping!