Some of my social media feeds mention nostalgia for the beginning of the pandemic. Like many, this was probably one of the worst parts of my mere 20 years in this world. But I still feel a similar sense of nostalgia, too. It’s an interesting and contradictory feeling.  

I mostly miss the sense of worldwide community at the start of the pandemic. While I felt the most lonely I have ever felt in my life, I also felt the most connected I have ever felt in my life. There was so much shock, yet so much comfort in that period of time.  

It was a period in which we had to take a break and people were understanding of each other. There was a newfound sense of vulnerability. In retrospect, before the pandemic, it felt as though life was so forced. If you were struggling, you had no choice but to try your best to hide that and continue on with your life. But now I feel like we don’t have to pretend that life is all rainbows and butterflies. 

While all of this is true to my experience, finding the silver lining still feels insensitive to people that have been negatively affected by COVID. All of this to say, I have contradictory feelings and a lot of them. And it’s normal.